I just had a four year relationship end. Despite the obvious I can't help feeling like a failure at relationships. However I'm proud that I went out with a bang. I threw myself into the relationship and proposed and I filled a need I had and learned about who I am and who I want. I failed and I'm proud of it. If you're going to go down, go down in a ball of flames. And learn from it so next time you can make the ball of flames bigger. I rock.


My surgery is in two days and I am terrified. I am scared it will be canceled, that the money won't be available. I'm scared of recovery, but mostly I'm tired of waiting. I want to be sliced open and I want to be able feel something in my fingers. I have made a list of things I can't do and will be able to do after I heal from the surgery. These are things I am excited to get back.

Things I Can't Do:
Button jeans
clasp bra
feel my boyfriend's skin
open jars
not drop things
clip Robin's nails
electrical work

Banana Bread

Hello ALL!

I have been long gone from livejournal, but this weekend I made gluten free banana bread and it was delecious. My grandmother's recipe with some tweaks (for the gluten free part.)I am applyting to an electrical internship and I really want it so cross your fingers and hope for me please.

Banana Bread

Cream together:
1/2c Butter
1c sugar

Add to eggs, mix well. Add 1tsp lemon juice and 1 1/2c banana goosh, mix.

Combine the dry ingredients:
1c brown rice flour
1/2c tapioca flour
1/2c amaranth flour
2 tsp xantum gum
1 1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp baking powder

Add to banana mixture and stir just until combined.
Bake 350 degrees for 2 hours.


I just put a nuc into our only hive. It went well. I forgot everything about how to feed them and I re-read the books. I'm making sugar candy to put on top of the frames and I will have a boardman feeder after a trip to the store for some corn syrup. Its noce having bees again. I want to plant some wildflowers that will help the bees feat this spring.
  • Current Mood
    cheerful cheerful

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the power just came back on here. I was really bored. tomorrow I will be in seattle and you people who live over there should call me or pick me up and we''l do something. yay

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The roads are really slick from the snow and I spun out and hit a tree and possibly a fence. and the tree fell over on the hood of my car. but the car and I am fine. The bumper is a little dented but I didn't even break a headlight. I'm very glad I was in the cadillac.

Happy thanksgiving everyone

yay thanksgiving is over and my mom only one mini panic attack. It was all very calm and familiar which is nice. and I didn't have to talk to any relatives on the phone which is yay. Also my nutritionist gave me some great ideas that helped menot eat till I puked. so I still have a corner of my stomach that prevents inteernal combustion. go me. I am inexplicably sad though. maybe because I didn't use my light this morning. I will tomorrow.